Break up Without Pain

There is no painless break up but it is the degree of pain that varies. At all times, you need to consider a break up plan that would not be as painful to your partner and to you. The damages should not be too deep. There are 6 things that you can do to make your break up pain less and also to maintain a strong, positive and satisfying relationship after the break up.


Determine the right location
Honestly, the best place to break up is not your house. The reason is quire straight, you would have two tasks, asking your ex to accept the break up and to leave your house. Get a social neutral venue like a restaurant or park. Bottom line, it has to be a place where you are both comfortable.

Display kindness
It is not practical for both of you to feel the need for break up at the same time. So, because you are the one initiating this move, you have to be a little kind. It would be hard for your ex and you need to support them by way of understanding and kindness during the period. You may need your ex another time, not for intimacy but anything else, so it would be fair that you be nice to them. Do not make it hard for them to cope with the break up.
Make it fast
It is likely that once you drop the bomb, your ex would want to have some reasons. Never stay behind to give explanations. You may need to leave almost immediately after breaking the news to avoid any trouble. After all, you aren’t a psychologist and even if it is your profession, your ex is not the best client.

Face the situation as a grown up
You need to have some respect after breaking up with your ex. Face your ex and tell them at the face like it is. Never send emails or SMS about break ups.
Get all that belongs to you
It is not good that you ask to break up and then appear a week later to collect your stuff. It is good that when you decide to call it quits, you go with all your belongings, never to come back.
Break up and let it be
Be sure to convey the right message. Never give your ex an impression that things would work out later when breaking up. If possible, avoid your ex for the first month because this is a period long enough to help both of you move on and heal.

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What Not To Do After A Break Up

 

There are a couple of significant mistakes that a lot of newly-single people make after a break up that prolong their pain and suffering. Follow these break up rules to assist you to find peace with the end of your relationship and avoid what not to do after a break up.

BREAK UP RULES

1. After a Break Up Don't: Remain 'Just Friends'

Accepting that your relationship is over is the very first step after a break up, and without this realization you'll be hard pressed to move on. Now is the time for renewal, not hopes for reconciliation. Sure, there may be a slight chance the two of you will get back together, but even the most astute 'get your ex back' manuals start with this first simple step: take a break.

Give yourself some time to mourn your loss. Get to know yourself as a single person. Toe your lines of independence and find out what makes you happy again. Staying friends with your ex will only prolong the pain. Think of any interaction with your ex like an addiction -- every single time you succumb, it'll be that much harder to refuse later.

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2. After a Break Up Don't: Deny Negative Emotions That Surface

There is no doubt that you will feel strong emotions after a break up, such as loneliness, anger, fear, shame, uncertainty, humiliation, sadness, despair and jealousy. For many, these feelings will also surface physically, like crying or feeling like your heart is breaking.

Not only are these 'negative' emotions healthy, but they are important to feel in order to remain healthy. Sure, they seem miserable and probably don't make you feel better in the moment, but allowing yourself time to grieve is an important part of healing after a breakup. Plus, a scientific study undertaken in 1980 by Margaret Crepeau found that frequent criers are healthier people. So don't be afraid to comfort yourself via expressing your negative emotions.

3. After a Break Up Don't: Self-Medicate

If there were issues related to addictions, abuse, mental health (i.e. depression), or self-mutilation prior to your break up, please seek out professional help to assist with your specialized needs. (See: How Do I Find a Therapist?) The same goes for those finding themselves using drugs, alcohol, sex, cutting, or any other harmful self-medicating behaviors to cope with the pain after a break up. And if you feel the need to hurt yourself or someone else, please call a crisis hotline immediately.

4. After a Break Up Don't: Stop Taking Care of Yourself

Most people's basic needs are the same: food, sleep and protection from the elements (i.e. shelter and food). During a particularly difficult break up, some people aren't able to manage even these simple tasks -- which is understandable, although not acceptable.

If you cannot be your own best friend right now, ask for help. Talk to your friends, family, a counselor and/or loved ones and let them know you may need a bit of extra support in the next little while. Additionally, create a break up action plan to post in key places, such as on your fridge or hidden away in your desk at work. That way you'll have no only have people checking out for you, but you'll also have created a foolproof list of things that make you happy to refer to.

5. After a Break Up Don't: Keep Remnants of the Relationship Lying Around

There are quite a few things considered 'remnants' of a relationship, including photos, cutesy trinkets, mementos, clothing, and even food. After a break up, especially if the two of you have children together, it can be challenging to remove all of these items from your home. Luckily that's not what I am asking you to do. Instead, fill a box with whatever items you feel will be necessary at some point in time in the future but still remind you strongly of your ex, and then put that box in a private, out-of-the way place for the time being. There will be more than enough reminders on a day-to-day basis of your ex's just because of how the human mind works. You won't need any extra help to add fuel to the break up fire.

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Sweet Things You Can Do For Your Boyfriend

 

When you love someone it’s important to allow yourself to express it also. Some girls restrain their show of love for the fear that the guy would start taking her for granted, but that’s like living from a very protective place. If you really trust his love why should you fear expressing yourself fully and if you don’t trust his love then ask yourself why you feel that way.  

Any action that swells from the innocence of a love filled heart is bound to carry the flavor of sweetness. But in case you are looking for some tips on things to do for your boyfriend, here’s a list.

Be all ears to what he says

You don’t only want to be his girlfriend but also his best friend. One of the qualities of being a close friend is to be a good listener. It’s not easy to be willing to listen without wanting to judge or comment, but if you really love him allow him this talking space. Let him talk his heart out and then encourage him to talk more, he is sure to appreciate the sweetness in your wanting to listen him out.

Dress to his taste

Remember that this is not a directive but something that you want to do because you love him. Your boyfriend may find some of your dressing style uncomfortable or too revealing, especially in public places. If you sense his discomfort you can avoid dressing that way in his company. He’s bound to find it sweet of you to do this for him. But take note that you don’t have to do anything that makes you feel resentful or else it will only end up making you feel lousy or exploited.

Cook him something special

In fact just cook him anything that you know he likes and he’s sure to find it really sweet of you, especially during the initial days of the relationship. Guys love a “home maker” instinct in their girlfriend. Even if you are not a great cook, he will definitely love you for putting in the effort for him.

Give him a special night

If the both of you are on physical terms then there is no better way to be really sweet to your boyfriend than to give him the pleasure of your intimacy. The giving part is usually the most loving part about sex, and as a girl you can really give him a pleasurable high with the things you can do with his body.

Baby talk him

Many guys love to be baby talked to. You can call him by some “baby” names like teddy, cutie, sugarpie, plumcake or puppy and sweet talk him. No matter how much we grow up we all have a child inside us that loves to be acknowledged. Cuddling and baby talking are some cute things to do for your boyfriend.

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Gift him for no reason

Nothing shows love more than the act of giving. If you know that your boyfriend is looking to buy something for himself, you can buy it and gift it to him. You can gift him a shirt, a cap or a t-shirt out of the blue for no reason at all but to show him how much you love him.

A genuine love within usually manifests as a gesture of giving and that’s the sweetest part about any relationship. You can do a lot sweet and cute things for your boyfriend just be holding on to the deep appreciation you have for the relationship. True love is always finding ways to show itself so opportunities will makes themselves available to you all the time.

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Eight Reasons Why Women Get Married

The Bond Of Companionship

We, as humans are social animals and require the company of our fellow human beings in our lives. It might be the care and affection of our parents, the camaraderie between siblings, the shared goodwill between friends or the passion between lovers. In all the various stages of our lives, we are flanked by the company of fellow human beings.

Among all these relationships and interactions, we have only one which is the longest and most enduring. That is the relationship between two married people. That is the only relation which has the potential of a life-long commitment, keeping the divorce rates aside. You will not have the company of your parents for your entire life. Friends and siblings will make a life of their own and get busy. The only bond that you can potentially have for a lifetime is that of matrimony.

Shared Worries Are Always Halved

We undergo a lot of worries in our lifetime and once we become older we are reluctant to burden our parents with our problems. Even though friends help by their support and encouragement, again we don’t like to bother them too much.

But it is a different matter with a spouse; you can share even the minutest of your worries and the biggest of your concerns with them. It is a moot point whether your spouse is able to help you or not, but the fact that you have someone to share your problems with, lessens your burdens by half.

The Romance Of A Life Time

Although one might loath to be tied with one particular person for their entire lives, there is another perspective to it as well. A person might talk about enjoying their single status with a multitude of lovers and partners instead of being ties to one, but this is the talk of youth and beauty.

But it is another matter when you are in your middle ages without your beauty or grace and find yourself longing for a warm body next to you, to share the cold nights of winter. Whoever has experienced the bliss of being in love realizes the feeling of having that person beside them forever. There is nothing to take away the romance of a life-time that a marriage promises, if we are wise enough to see them.

Marriage Will Make You Happier And Healthier

Now, this is a fact which has been proven after a lot of research and surveys. It has been found after many studies that married people are on an average happier and as a result healthier, than their single counterparts. Before, you start laughing at the joke, it is in fact true that while there might be insurmountable amount of problems in a marriage, when you are happily married, it is one of the best experiences.

The Practicalities Of Life

One might argue that companionship and a life-time of romance can also be found without marriage and in a live-in relationship. Although that is true, but in many countries, live-in relationship is not legally recognized and even if it is, you don’t get the benefits that you get as a married couple.

There are a lot of legal and official benefits to be had as a married person and it is a practical reason to be tied to the institution. It saves you a lot of official and legal hassles, you can get a loan for your house or your car more easily. Sometimes, it is even easier to rent a place if you are married.

It might seem unfair, but unfortunately, these are the rules. So, it might be a practical reason for you to get married, which becomes easier if you are already in a live-in relationship. After all it is just a matter of signing some papers.

The Sense Of Security

Although a live-in relationship is great, there are some places where a marriage takes away the cake. You will always have a sense of the relationship being temporary in case of a live-in together whereas marriage gives you a sense of permanence. Although, it might seem ludicrous to some, marriage does help a person stay faithful because of the sanctimony of the vows.

Even though there are no guarantees of a marriage staying forever, most people enter a live-in relationship with the feeling that it is temporary. A marriage can provide a lot of security to a woman, especially if she is not financially independent. Just because the divorce rates are high, doesn’t mean that you should enter a married life with a fatalistic attitude.

Marriage Makes You A Responsible Person

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You might already be a reliable and consistent person, but if you are not, being married has a high chance of making you become a responsible person. You will learn age-old values of compromise and selflessness and though it might sound like a horrible idea, in reality it also helps you know what kind of a person you really are. The more you get inside the realms of matrimony, the closer you come to understand yourself and your spouse.

Love

Perhaps the most important of all reasons why women get married is the love they feel toward their future husbands. Even when financial, religious, legal or biological considerations factor into a woman's decision to get married, love and the desire to link herself to another are the most important drivers. In every society and in any context, marriage is a declaration of solidarity and a public commitment of love and support of between a husband and wife.

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6 Tips To Find And Believe In Love again

 

When a relationship ends in heartbreak, your world seems to have come to an end. No matter how you lose a partner, through a betrayal, divorce or death, at the time you feel as if you will never be able to find love again. It is quite natural to feel bereft and alone and stop believing in love at the time.

But while it is true that a wonderful period of your life seems to have come to an end, it does not mean that the rest of your life needs to end too. Life goes on, no matter what happens and the significant lesson we need to learn from that message is to move on, no matter what has happened. Your heart has been bruised but rest assured, it is not broken, it just feels like that.

You should genuinely love yourself and if you do, you will realize that you can find love again. And it is important to go on loving, because there is nothing in this world which makes life more beautiful than love.

You might feel insecure and scared to venture into the same path again, but if your trust your instincts and keep yourself open to the prospect of finding love again, you will do so. Depending on your own circumstances of loss, there are some steps that you can take in order to help you find love and happiness again.

Accept Your Loss

The most difficult part after heartbreak is the prospect of accepting what you have lost and the fact that it is never going to be back. There still seems to be that faint hope lurking in the minds that maybe things will be better. Well, things will definitely be better, but does not necessarily mean that it will be with the same person.

You have to accept your loss, in order to let anything else come into your life. Till the moment you cling to the memories and refuse to let go, till then you are not allowing the universe to make anything happen for you. When we lose a loved one through death, the suddenness and unexpected shock of the incident does not allow us to think about our lives at all.

But then, our loved ones would not want us to put our lives on hold indefinitely just because we feel too guilty to be happy. There should be a grieving period where you come to terms with your losses, but that should not go on, forever.

Be Open To Love

You have to be open to receiving love, for love to happen in the first place. If you refuse to let yourself be receptive towards love and keep your mind and heart locked away, you will not be able to receive anything from the universe.

Learn To Let Go Of The Guilt And Love Yourself

When we are left broken-hearted, most of the times we feel inferior and insecure about ourselves. It is a normal feeling because of the fact that we were dumped and so the mind automatically starts finding fault within ourselves.

While normal, it is not a healthy feeling and you should start letting go of any feelings of inferiority or guilt. The most important person in your life is you, and you have to learn to love yourself first in order to love someone elseds, you will feel lonely and abandoned. The faster you start socializing and having some sort of involvement with the outside life, the faster you will be able to move on in life. And it always helps to share your grief with someone who cares for you; after all, it will only be lessened.

Learn To Let Go Of The Guilt And Love Yourself

When we are left broken-hearted, most of the times we feel inferior and insecure about ourselves. It is a normal feeling because of the fact that we were dumped and so the mind automatically starts finding fault within ourselves.

While normal, it is not a healthy feeling and you should start letting go of any feelings of inferiority or guilt. The most important person in your life is you, and you have to learn to love yourself first in order to love someone else. So go ahead and indulge in some self-love and spiritual healing and set for the road to recovery.

Don’t Jump Into Anything

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This might sound contradictory when I have been harping about the importance of being open to love. The fact is that there is a time for everything , and jumping into another relationship right after the last one, to get rid of your loneliness is the wrong thing.

You need to come to terms with your loss first, otherwise it will be a rebound love and hence a failure. And rebound love affairs are very common and unfortunately do not have any distinct symptoms. So, you should be over your previous relationship completely, for you to discover genuine love again.

Don’t Make Comparisons

If you seem to have found your new partner and don’t think he matches up to your ex, stop right there. Nobody is perfect, and we always seem to think highly of the things in our past and paint a rosy picture about them. In any case, no two people are alike and just because your new partner has opposite traits from your ex, does not mean that he is bad.

The bottom line is that you should not be making comparisons between two people in your lives which is extremely unfair to your new love. If there is a quality which you have always hated then it is a fair deal to reject the person but not because he does not match up to your ex’s standards. It should be your standards, not somebody else’s.

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13 Signs You're Falling in Love

13. You cant stay mad at him or her for more than a minute or two. You actually have to try hard to stay mad.



12. You will read his or her IMs over and over and over again.



11. You'll walk really really slow while your with him or her.



10. You'l feel shy whenever your with him or her.



9. While thinking about him or her, your heart will be faster and faster.

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8. By listening to his or her voice, you smile for no reason.



7. While looking at him or her, you cant see any other people around you.. only that one person.



6. You'll start istening to slow songs.



5. He or she will become all you think about.



4. You'll get high just by their smell.



3. You'll realize you're always smiling to yourself when you think of them.



2. You'll do anything for him or her.



1. While reading this there was one person on your mind the whole time<3


now, you dont need to do anything with this, but it made you think. when you tell someone "i love you" do you really mean it? think about it..

Top Tips for Deal With a Broken Heart

 

It’s at time hard to come up with the best way to deal with a break up especially when you are still feeling raw. Rejection is painful and leads to frustrations, anger and a lot of anguish.

You need to know how to deal with these emotions within the first weeks after a break up. This ensures that you remain with your respect and dignity as you recover from the pain. This is good because life must go on and you can find another person to love when the pain is over.

Top Tips :

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1) Rest in the following weeks after the break up, you should only do what you feel is necessary. Don’t strain yourself because you are already mentally and emotionally strained. Give yourself time to recover from the loss and also mourn. During such a time, you will feel lonely, sad and hopeless. It’s normal.

2) Eat a healthy diet, get enough rest and do not quit your job or classes. You will feel tempted to sleep all day, but you must work to achieve your goals in life. Take good care of your personal appearance and know that you still have a life to live. This ensures that when the pain subsides, you still have your life in control and you can move on properly.

3) You should not forget that you can still live even without your partner. Try to remember things that you can do on your own and also your strengths. You can write some positive points about yourself on a piece of paper. This can be a good strategy to learn on how to get over a break up and a good reason keep yourself aware that you are still lovable.

4) You should avoid seeing your ex as much you can in order to rebuild sense of identity. This may not be easy, but it is possible. This has been recommended by many experts on how to deal with a break up. Separation will allow the two of you to think if you need to get together or part ways forever.

5) You need a friend or a relative to talk to when you are very lonely. This will help you stop thinking about ways to revenge against your ex. Doing some things will only land you in more trouble which will make your life even more sad. Avoid acting on crazy thoughts and talk to someone to calm down.

When you try to figure out how to deal with a break up, remember that you need enough time before moving on. Do things that you have always enjoyed doing before the break up and do not get into another relationship to forget your ex. This can put you into more problems.

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Ten Things for Get Over a Break Up

 

Breakups can be rough, and they can be amicable; no matter what, no one really wants to go through them. The loss of your relationship can bring on intense heartache. But if you're looking for some help getting through it and want some suggestions about how to make it a little easier, read on...

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Steps : 1. Don't rethink your decision. If the breakup was your decision, keep in mind that only thinking about all the good times you had with your partner may cause you to forget the reasons why you broke it off. By the same token, try not to second-guess the situation if the decision to end things was not yours. It's very common to romanticize the good parts of the relationship, convincing yourself that maybe the bad parts weren't so bad after all, that maybe you could just live with them. Or that maybe if your ex would know just how you feel, he/she wouldn't want to break up after all. Don't play this game with yourself. Accept the situation and work on moving forward.

2. Think through everything thoroughly, but not obsessively. Go ahead and mull it over, as many times as necessary, within reason. Consider all the reasons you two broke up. Even if it sometimes seems as if there wasn't a good reason, there certainly was one - and probably more than one. Understand that you enjoyed being together for a while, but if the relationship was not what both you and your partner wanted for life, it would have ended eventually, no matter what. In this case, better sooner than later. Thinking about the reasons why it ended can make it much clearer to you that it takes two people to start a relationship, but just one discordant person is enough to end it. It may also help you avoid many missteps in the future if you can identify areas where you contributed to the demise of the relationship.

3. Keep your space. Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, break away completely from each other right after the breakup. This means not seeing each other, not being around his/her family members, no phone calls, no e-mails, no text messages, no Facebook, and no IMs - not necessarily as a permanent measure, but until you feel that you can converse with him/her on a purely platonic level, without an ulterior motive (and yes, wanting to get back together counts as an ulterior motive). If he/she tries to convince you to see him/her, ask yourself honestly what the point would be. If you're reliving the past by seeing him/her, it's not hard to get caught up in the moment and it will be harder to let go again. You may have to have some contact in order to deal with the practical aspects of things like moving out, signing papers, etc., but try to limit this to what's absolutely necessary, and then keep such calls/meetings short and civil.

 

4. Cope with the pain appropriately. It's okay to feel like you have messed up - accepting responsibility for your mistakes or shortcomings is healthy. On the other hand, you must also accept that you are a good person, and that you did your best and you're not the only one who made mistakes. Of course, a stage of denial is completely natural, but acceptance is the key to being able to start moving on.

5. Don't think you're unlikeable! There are plenty of fish in the sea If he/she wasn't the fish, your emotions are telling you. Find someone else. Remember there will always be someone out there for you!

6. Talk to your friends. You want people around you who love you and who will help you feel good about yourself. Surrounding yourself with compassionate, supportive friends and family will help you see yourself as a worthwhile person, and you'll find it easier to get steady on your feet again with your loved ones around you in a comforting net. But be wary of friends trying to connect you with another person right now, this is not what you need. If you feel you are burdening your friends, consider making an appointment with a counselor or psychologist. These thoughts are irrational and are generally an early indicator of depression.

7. Write all your feelings down. Write in a journal or try writing poems. The most important thing is to be absolutely honest and don't edit yourself as you go. One of the best results of writing it all down is that sometimes you will be amazed by a sudden insight that comes to you as you are pouring it all out onto paper. Patterns may become clearer, and as your grieving begins to lessen, you will find it so much easier to understand valuable life lessons from the whole experience if you've been writing your way through it. No relationship is ever a failure if you manage to learn something about yourself. Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't a necessary part of your journey to becoming who you're meant to be.

8. Out with the old, in with the new. A breakup can signify a new beginning. Therefore, cleaning and organizing your personal space will leave you feeling refreshed and prepared for the new things to come. A mess can be overwhelming and depressing, and will just add to your stress level. The added bonus is that keeping busy with tidying your space doesn't require a lot of brain power, but does require just enough focus to keep you from recycling pain. Occupying yourself with such tasks designed to make your life better and easier will also occupy your mind enough to help you through the residual pain. Clean your room, get some new posters, clean up the icons on your PC desktop. As insignificant as cleaning up sounds, it'll make you feel better.

 

9. Find happiness in other areas of your life. Whether that means spending time with your friends and family, signing up for that class you've always wanted to take, or reading every book on the New York Times bestseller list, remind yourself that a relationship is one part of life, but even when you are in one, there are personal pleasures that you can always enjoy on your own. Indulge in those things now. As they say, the best revenge is living well. Enjoy being single.

10. Stop thinking of him! If he's not on your mind you'll get over him really fast! It might be hard to stop thinking about him but the only way to get over him is NOT to to start dating some one else.

Finally we must all remember a heart break or an emotional set back only gives us a chance learn more from life and move on. Our set backs make us grow and strengthen our relationships with our family members as we know that in times of crisis it is our own people who give us the love and moral support to carry on.

Last but not the least it is our positive attitude in life which carries us forward and equips us to face life’s challenges with courage and determination   

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Best Short Poems About Love and Friendship

 

You Will Be In My Thoughts

Should you ever feel alone
If finding times hard to bare
You can still count on me
Know I shall always be there

You shall be in my thoughts
If you are hurting, I feel it too
It is my friendship sincerity
I shall forever share with you

There each step of the way
My support you can depend
I will listen if you need me
With love your forever friend

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The Reason I Love You

The Smell of your hair
The taste of your kiss
These are the things
That I will always miss

The sound of your voice
The feel of your hand
They affect me in ways
You could never understand

The love in your heart
The peace in your eyes
They make me feel
Like I want to cry

You are a gift
That God gave to me
And I can just feel
That we are meant to be

I'll love you forever
I hope you do too
For it's only a short while
Before we say "I do"

I miss you my friend
I miss you more than words can say,
I think of you each single day,
I love you like my sister and friend,
I'll always love you til the end,

The more i think, the more i weep,
at least i have memories to keep,
I know we'll meet again soon enough,
but i can't wait cos this is tough,

every time i see a pretty flower,
i think of you then my eyes shower,
every time i take out my photo pile,
i look at you and me and i smile,

all the memories i hold in my heart,
no need to miss you, we're not apart.

Picture in a Frame

Your pictures are in frames, memories on my wall,
To have you here again, I would give them all.
A picture cannot capture, the beauty of your skin,
Or the radiating glow I'd feel, whenever you would grin.
They cannot talk or sing to me, the way you used to do,
I'll never love another, the way that I love you.


So I look at you my soul mate, a picture in a frame,
I cry my tears of sorrow, cause I feel God's to blame.
He came and took the one, who made my life complete,
And all that's left are pictures, and an empty seat.
I also have a feeling down, deep within my heart,
It's the pain of loneliness, since we've been apart.


I try not to let the grief, just overcome my day,
I'll blow a kiss to heaven and send it when I pray.
I'll ask God to free me now, from a world so blue,
To take me up to Paradise, so I can fly with you.
I'm waiting for the day you come, calling out my name,
Until then I'll be staring at, your picture in a frame.

A Poem's Kiss

A Poem's kiss
Flows from my pen
To your heart
Lingering, longing
As a silent embrace
Though we're apart

Our words touch
As lips, softly searching
Verses thrill the soul
Separation of One
In lonely sky blue
Until we are whole

Sorrows in stanzas
Writ with abundance
As tears frozen in time
Deep and lonely
'Til ocean is river
And you become mine

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4 Steps to Fall in Love and Stay in Love

Falling in love is a wonderful thing and it does not seem to take any effort when you fall in love with the right person. However, staying in love does take some effort from both partners because each individual is different. The majority of couples blame each other when something goes missing in their relationship, but they seem to forget that it takes two to form a couple. In order for two people to fall in love and stay in love they have to be able to understand that love is not always happiness and that sadness is a small part of love. When we truly love a person, we will experience both feelings, and it is the real proof of the sincerity and closeness of our relashionship.

Steps :

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1. Always put your partner's needs in the same line with yours. In other words keep a balance so both needs are met. If you make your relationship only about you, your partner will feel neglected, so try to put yourself in their shoes.

2. There is a right person for everybody waiting to be found. Most of the time a person will know when they meet their half right away but that is not always the case for everybody. When you have a good relationship focus only on the good things, do not look for flaws in your partner because nobody is perfect. Once you will do this, your patner will love you even more.

3. Plan things together. Make sure that you spend a lot of time with your partner and get to share your thoughts and problems with them. Become best friends because close friendships are long-lasting in contrast to just being friends and sharing your secrets with somebody else. Remember that the secrets bond people forever.

4. Make sure you take a romantic trip once in a while to keep the romance alive and flowing. A romantic getaway is always a perfect surprise and experience for both parties and of course it does not need to be expensive. Everytime couples take trips together they find new and exciting things about each other.

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10 Ways to Trust Your Boyfriend

Trust is a key element in having a strong and lasting relationship with your boyfriend. Without trust, your relationship will slowly fall apart.

How do you regain trust that has slipped away because of little things that niggle you or cause you to feel he isn't as responsive or attentive as perhaps he ought to be? In this article, you'll have the chance to explore the ways in which you can learn to trust you boyfriend and move into another stage of your relationship.

Steps :

1. Acknowledge why you don't trust your boyfriend. There can be a number of reasons, from not hearing from him, lack of contact, or something someone else said. Your own instinct tends to add its overlay of worry too, adding up things that may or may not be important. Some of the reasons why your trust may be tested include: 

• You have been privy to a recent revelation about him that casts suspicions on his trustworthiness
• You have had an argument with him and it not only left you feeling sour but left many questions unanswered
• You feel that he has betrayed your trust in him by something that he has done, said, or openly acknowledged to you
• You feel that he is slipping away - he calls you less, he's not coming around to see you much, or he seems to be seeing other people without asking you along too
• You have some other reason for not trusting him.

2. Take it slowly and calm yourself down. Paranoia over the fact that you don't trust him will can cause you to deepen your mistrust rather than to want to seek some valid answers. Whatever has happened to set off your suspicions, it's more than likely that you don't have the full story or perhaps you're not even seeing all the relevant events properly. Before you discard all trust, it is important to do some thinking, questioning, and following up, to get the story straight. Focus on what is at stake and the importance of the relationship, no matter how hard it may seem and no matter how tempting it is to prefer assuming a negative viewpoint of him.

3. Think about your past relationships. Have they ended in heartbreak, mistrust, and anger? If so, you may be primed to be suspicious about a subsequent boyfriend's motives. Having someone betray your trust hurts, and can carry on into your next relationship. If this is the case, talk to your boyfriend about your past relationship (or relationships) and tell him what happened and why it hurt you. Not only will doing this increase your trust in him, he will be able to understand what lies behind your paranoia. Depending on the type of guy he is, he may even be able to help you work through the challenge.

• If you're stuck in an emotional situation where you don't feel that you're able to move past the hurt, this can be a good time to speak with a therapist or counselor in order to mend the wounds of any past relationship that might have caused you to feel paranoid or anxious about current relationships.

4. Talk to him about why you don't trust him. Use tact, but be honest with him. Guys prefer blatant honesty to constantly avoiding, embellishing, or twisting the subject. If you talk to him about it, not only will it make you feel better, but his trust in you will be likely t increase because he'll feel that, even though you don't trust him, you had to courage to come out and talk to him about it anyway. Whatever his response, your courage in speaking so clearly makes you a very good and honest person.

  5. Go the extra mile to increase his trust in you. Be honest, caring, understanding, and trustworthy yourself, before asking someone to do the same. Don't gossip about him and don't be condescending or negative about him to other people; it will get back to him and will only make things harder for you to fix. Open up a little more yourself; this is especially important if you've been keeping your concerns and most intimate self from him. Keep the line of communication open, and let him know what is going on in your life. You don't have to tell him about every time that you stub your toe, or what you ate for breakfast yesterday, but do tell him things. Tell him funny (or sad) stories about your past and encourage him to do the same.

6.  Learn to let little things go. This step is one that is easily overlooked but is vital. Remember that there may be genuine, non-harmful, and even laugh-worthy reasons for why things have happened that caused you to mistrust him. What is important to a guy may not be what is important to a girl, and he may simply have thought nothing of it, while you're busy blowing it all out of proportion. A simple request to explain the situation will suffice in that case. Forgetfulness is a big one with many guys. It's unintentional but it can be infuriating. For example, maybe he just forgot to tell you that he was going out with his friends the same night you wanted to borrow his car. Maybe you didn't tell him, so there was no reason for him to even get that there was an issue; even if you did tell him, maybe it was when he was focused on doing something and he just didn't hear you properly. Whatever the reason, find it out from him before assuming it from within. You'll know whether or not the answers you're given ring true and you can work from there. If they do ring true, let go, let go, let go! Give him the benefit of the doubt and don't assume that he is cheating on you or even not telling you things. Remember that your boyfriend is only human, and will forget things without meaning to. If it was important, remind him gently instead of cussing him out. If it wasn't important, let it go and remember that the little thing fall-outs that go un-blamed can prevent the enormous fight that would have resulted otherwise.

  7. Hold yourself to the same standard before unleashing your anger. Have you always remembered absolutely everything? Do you always listen with absolute clarity? Do you like it when someone suggests that you're not to be trusted? It is important to be compassionate in a relationship and that includes placing yourself into the situation he's in before you approach it. At all times, remain calm and level-headed; shouting and berating any person does nothing to change the situation and can simply deepen the problems.

8. Take the time to create a firm and lasting bond with your boyfriend. Go on fun and romantic dates with each other, engage in activities outside of the bedroom, and don't be serious all of the time. Happier relationships are ones in which there is a lot of room to move, a lot of laughter, and a great deal of trust. In fact, the more trust, often the tighter the bond you'll create. The less trust, the more likely your relationship will end up laden with suspicion and dysfunctional behaviors. Embrace your inner (and more trusting) child, recognize the little, sweet things in life, and help your boyfriend to do the same:

• Go to the park and have him push you on the swings.
• Have a pillow or tickle fight.
• Go to a restaurant and share a plate or a drink with each other.
• Visit a zoo and have fun looking at all the animals.
• Tease him, ever so gently, and let him tease you back. Couples that can handle teasing one another in a fun, kind way, tend to be couples that can handle each other's criticism and enjoy each other's love.

9. Learn the art of small talk. Sometimes telling each other "I love you, I love you, I love you, coochy coo" becomes a little too demanding and one-way. And too many deep and meaningfuls can make each of you resent hanging around each other for fear of when the "next big crisis" is about to crop up. Brighten up your time together by indulging in small talk as a way of filling in the moments where you're just spending time together in each other's company, without expecting anything of one another.

 

10. Last but not least, realize what you gain by loving in trust. While trust does expose us to the potential of another person's betrayal, the opposite is worse – to never trust a person and to never learn what it feels like to have that trust reciprocated and blossom would be unthinkable. Acknowledge that trust encompasses fear of being hurt and yet understand that not being trustful will end up harming your happiness, rather than guarding it. And trust can protect your health; research has shown that people with greater trust are healthier and more humorous! Realize that trust doesn't only let go of the other person, it also lets go of you, opening yourself to the possibilities that this time, you have connected with someone who will reciprocate the trust you've placed in him. And if you're still unconvinced, keep in mind these lovely words from Dick Sutphen:

 "Love me without fear,
Trust me without questioning,
Need me without demanding,
Want me without restrictions,
Accept me without change,
Desire me without inhibitions,
For a love so free...
Will never fly away."

 

Tips :

• Try to be understanding and accepting when the little things come up. Your boyfriend will notice and appreciate the special relationship that the two of your share all the more for it.

Careful :

• Be aware of what your boyfriend is doing and don't be completely blind to his fall-outs. In other words, be trusting but not naive. Trust is a two-way reality. Give of it but don't allow it to be abused. If he is behaving suspiciously and strangely, talk to your girlfriends, or someone you know you can trust about your concerns. Having a sounding board of someone else can help you to work through the concerns realistically.
• If he really is cheating on you, find someone who is more deserving of your trust. If you feel like this is happening again and again to you, revise the type of boyfriend you keep falling for.

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Be Friends After a Breakup

This post is for when and how to be friends after a break-up, when you might have children. This article will help you have friends and be and feel great.

Steps :

1. You can't change the father of your child. If he is a good father to your children, do not ignore his phone calls. He may want to speak to/about his child. Put your differences aside, if you really love your son/daughter.

2. If he tries to get to you by telling you he misses you, let him have his moment of pleasure. But make your intentions be perfectly clear- be truthful! Remind him that the only reason you want to stay friends is for the sake of your child/children.

3. There is little to no reason for you to argue with your ex about how, what, whena and who did what wrong. The past is the past, you need to move on with a different life experience.

4. You and your ex should be chatting like nothing ever happened between the two of you. Don't give in and let him/her try to get to your soft spot, sa that you could move back in. Sometimes it happens, but it's not the best way out. Life is very challenging.

5. An important thing to remember is to never show your ex that you are vulnerable. You give them a weapon, and let them have their way with you.

Tips :

• These are simply common things to look out for, but I admit, as you should know, everyone is different.

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10 Tips for Get the Perfect Valentine's Gift for Your Boyfriend

Still looking for the perfect Valentine's gift for your boyfriend but worried you'll be swept away by Valentine's mania? Here are some tips on creating more personalized, caring Valentine's gifts for the special boy or man in your life that will show just how much you care

Steps

1. Find out what his love language is. People value different things when it comes to expressions of love. If your boyfriend feels most loved when he hears words of affirmation or receives physical touch, he will appreciate loving words or a back rub more than a gift wrapped bottle of after shave. If he values acts of service, think about something you can do for him -- perhaps a project or chore he's been putting off -- and do it!

 

2. Ask first! About a week before Valentine's Day, talk to your boyfriend and ask if he has anything special in mind that he'd appreciate. Don't badger him; just ask pointedly once and work from his answers. If he can't give you any, suggest that he thinks about it for a bit and to get back to you later that same day. If he doesn't have any ideas, don't pressure him!

3. Match your gift ideas with the type of romancing he fancies. Does he really appreciate a romantic approach that will involve booking a special restaurant for a five-course meal or filling the swimming pool with rose petals? Or is he more comfortable with just the usual night on the town with lots of laughter and favorite beers as the two of you pub crawl? Take advantage of what you know about him to craft the ultimate gift or experience.

4. Do something for him rather than giving him something. If he has long wanted his hair dyed black, you could buy him some hair dye and prepare a home salon and dye it for him. Make sure you feel confident enough to get it right! You could also do this for home pedicures, massages, a yoga lesson, being a style assistant for a new look, etc. - anything you have said you'd get around to helping him do or learn some day.

5. Go homemade. It's not just about buying stuff. Valentine's is really about showing that you care. Make your boyfriend a card that says how much you love him. Write a poem or some sweet prose. Anything to say how much you care about him and the reasons why. Many people just love being told the exact reasons why they matter so much; this can be the best gift of all.

6. Give a kiss for a gift! Guys sometimes would just like a passionate kiss. If you haven't given him one yet, wow, this will be special. But most of you will have already kissed; so it's how you present the kiss that matters. Take him somewhere unique and make the kiss something out of the ordinary. For example, take a trip up a cable car, take him in your arms in the cable car and say: "We are kissing on top of this mountain in a cable car because you put me on top of the world, I love you completely". Kiss so long that the crowd claps you both. 

7. Bake something for your sweetheart. Bake some heart-shaped cookies with hundreds and thousands and "I love you" printed on them in icing. Arrange in a box and present it to him with a card. 

8. Stock the bar or man cave. Stock up your boyfriend's favorite drink supplies as a nice surprise. Be sure to add some snack food treats as well, and perhaps even a book on making cocktails or the history of beer. You might also like to consider something he can hang in the bar, such as autographed sports, TV, or movie star memorabilia.

9. Decorate a photo of the two of you. Choose a perfect photo of the two of you, decorate a frame for it and write a little something to go with it, including why this photo means a lot to you. This is a very personalized and caring gift. You can even make a wallet-sized one and include a new wallet if you've got a good idea what sort of wallet he'd like. Put a good luck heart or coin in it as well.

10.  If you're out of ideas try some traditional stand-bys:

• Chocolates. Go for dark chocolates with strong flavors like rum and raisin, chili peppers, or peppercorns.
• A sweater or a t-shirt from a favorite brand or store.
• A subscription to a sports or business magazine you know he'll enjoy reading.
• A selection of his favorite movies. Check what he has already before buying though.
• A watch. Have it engraved with love from you. This suits the more serious couple.
• Grooming products. Help him to stay looking his best.
• Boxer shorts. There might be a hint tied up in this type of gift!
• Lingerie, let him unwrap it and then you wear it, just for him. Remember, men are visual creatures.

Tips

• Guys don't usually like glass, because that's a "guy-give-girl" thing.
• If he loves you that much, anything you do as he will love with all his heart and still give you kisses and hugs afterwards.
• Pay attention to his hobbies and activities. Guys are not always about drinking and sports. If he's into model planes, trains or ships, talk to the staff at the hobby shop he usually gets his supplies and find out what he's always looking at. Get him to show you his setup and plans, then get him something that's on his list without you having asked for something specific. Same thing if he collects comics or plays roleplaying games. A new game book or supplement can lead to an entire weekend of fun for both of you.
• A man who reads may appreciate a bookstore gift certificate.
• Many men like gadgets, especially multi-tool pocket knives and other knives. Find out if he collects these or likes them, watch him when you pass displays while going out shopping for something else. That can be a very romantic gift. You may find him using it on your behalf next time a bottle needs opening or something needs to be fixed!

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