6 Things Every Girl Secretly Wishes Her Boyfriend Would Do

Girls are known for nagging. It’s not something we’re proud of, but, honestly, do we really have a choice? If we didn’t pester our boyfriends we would never get them out of their man cave and into a civilized restaurant. But despite the fact that guys don’t whine and give us puppy dog eyes when they want us to do something, it turns out that they their own list of secret wishes when it comes to our behavior.

Our boyfriends are wonderful; we love them more than anything. But if they did some (or preferably all) of the following, we’d be sending a mass text for a girls night ASAP to brag to all of our girlfriends about how absolutely amazing our guy is (and chances are they’ll be getting a little luckier then usual come bedtime…).

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1. Buys Us Flower for No Reason

We’re not saying to show up once a week with a dozen roses, but a surprise bouquet every once in a while wouldn’t hurt. It isn’t even really about the flowers (although we love having them in a vase on our desk…it really brightens up our brick cell). It’s the thought that we’re after. Getting them for no reason is you saying, “I thought about you because I love and miss you, not just because I got belligerently drunk and didn’t call you last weekend and am now sucking up.”

2. Make Plans or Surprise

We love being in control. We like to pick the restaurant where we know the atmosphere is romantic. We like picking the movie that will have us sobbing tears of joy when the couple gets married at the end. But what we would love more than the power of planning the entire night to our liking, is for our guy to take the initiative and just plan it. There is something extremely sexy about a man that takes control. So sexy in fact, that it won’t even matter if we end up eating Wendy’s takeout on the floor of your dorm room with a DVD and a cheap bottle of wine.

3. Shop with Us

The whole “let’s meet back up in an hour” thing is not really okay with us, but we go along with it so we don’t have you sulking in the corner of Macy’s bringing down our department store high. We like to help you decide which pair of jeans makes your butt look better, and we’d also like your opinion on which dress will be better for New Year’s Eve. We will save you the pain and take our girlfriends the majority of the time, but every once in a while a little couples shopping would be appreciated. Yes, we think it’s cute and romantic, and, no, Best Buy does not count.

4. Don't be "That Guy" At the Bar

We love that you’re fun and up for anything. We love that we can go out with a group as a couple and do our own thing, not grossing everyone out with baby talk and severe PDA. But we don’t love that we catch a glimpse of you from across the bar downing Red Bull vodkas and having beer chugging contests. Is this a problem? No. But the belligerent-I-am-going-to-kick-every-guy’s-ass-in-this-bar attitude is. We want you to be able to walk us home and offer your jacket if we get cold on the trek back to campus, not take a piss in every bush we see and yell threats at guys passing who look at you the wrong way.

5. Be Generous in Bed

We love knowing that we can satisfy you sexually. But once in a while it would be really great to get some pleasure of our own without feeling like we have to return the favor. After a week full of classes and work, a little visit down under (or perhaps an extended stay…) would be amazing, especially if we can take a night off from our duties. Please and thank you.

6. Come Out of the Man Cave on Your Own Free Will

Begging you to put down the Xbox controller gets really old. We know you’ll never give up the video games, and we accept that four nights out of five we will wake up to the sound of you screaming to your virtual teammates through that headset. But if you decided to emerge from your pile of pizza boxes and beer cans without the nagging on our part, you will be rewarded handsomely.

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Top Ten things NEVER to do on a Date

 

1. Public Prevention

If he avoids ever being seen with you in public on campus, you need to question the status of your relationship. If he is the perfect gentleman behind dorm walls, but a perfect stranger in front of others, then he needs to be kicked to the curb ASAP.

2. A Break is Really a Break

If while you're at school you have the absolute perfect boyfriend, but while you're on winter vacation, summer break or Thanksgiving recess he's a complete stranger, this is a major red flag! Perhaps he thinks the definition of "college relationship" is simply "I'm in a relationship only while I'm away at college." If so, you guys really need to talk!

3. Case of the Ex

Lots of people are still friendly with their exes. In this case, I won't tell you to be suspicious of their relationship because of your boyfriend. Be suspicious of her, especially if you don't know her; you never really know what her intentions are!

4. Cellular Jitters

Never once have you ever even thought about looking through his phone, and even though he goes out of his way to hide his screen and secretly text when you're not looking, you still have no desire to know what's in that phone of his. Just know, you probably won't like what he's hiding. Take precaution.

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5. Creep Alert

There's always that one guy at every party that's lurking around trying to get the attention of any girl that will give him the time of day. You know, the guy who's fist pumping excessively as he walks through the crowd with his beer in his other hand, rubbing his crotch on every ass that he can, waiting for some drunk girl to dance with him, as she is too wasted to know who's actually behind her. If that guy is your boyfriend, then I am personally throwing every red flag I can possibly find at you. Retreat! Retreat! This guy is NOT boyfriend material.

6. Dating Dilemma

If you've never been out on a "date" then you're not actually dating. Instead, you have one of those middle school relationships where dating is considered holding hands behind the park bench at recess time and pecking each other on the cheek as all your creepy little friends stand around and watch. 

 

 

7. Facebook Fraud

Ah, the social network drama. Somehow it's become a commonplace argument among young couples, 2.0. I personally don't like having the whole cyber world in my business so relationship statuses are unimportant to me, but if your beau actually takes the time out to untag himself in every picture of the two of you, I think now would be a good time to get suspicious.

 

8. Friend or F aux

I once had a friend who said something about guys and girls in relationships that really stuck with me. If a girl has a guy she really likes, all her friends will know about him. If a guy has a girl he really likes, he'll want to protect her from his friends (LOL). Part of me can really understand this; guys are naturally protective. Another part of me thinks this is complete bullshit, and that if your closest friends don't even know about me, then our relationship must not mean much to you. Ladies, what are your thoughts on this? 

 

9. Opposite Sex

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a best friend of the opposite sex. Hell, some of my closest friends are guys. But if your boyfriend's "best friend" is a girl whose boob he grabs every time they take a picture or whose hand he holds "jokingly" whenever they're in public, I'm sorry to break this to you but, that's not his best friend. That's actually his real life girlfriend and you're just some other girl he hangs with every now and again. Don't let this be you! 

 

10.He's Just Not Ready

If you and your boyfriend just recently decided to be "exclusive" but he's still rather inclusive in his weekend activities, perhaps you need to lay down some rules about what it actually means to be in a relationship. On the other hand, it could be that this guy just isn't the relationship "type" and is totally fine with just hooking up and fooling around. Perhaps you should look elsewhere for something more serious.

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Break up Without Pain

There is no painless break up but it is the degree of pain that varies. At all times, you need to consider a break up plan that would not be as painful to your partner and to you. The damages should not be too deep. There are 6 things that you can do to make your break up pain less and also to maintain a strong, positive and satisfying relationship after the break up.


Determine the right location
Honestly, the best place to break up is not your house. The reason is quire straight, you would have two tasks, asking your ex to accept the break up and to leave your house. Get a social neutral venue like a restaurant or park. Bottom line, it has to be a place where you are both comfortable.

Display kindness
It is not practical for both of you to feel the need for break up at the same time. So, because you are the one initiating this move, you have to be a little kind. It would be hard for your ex and you need to support them by way of understanding and kindness during the period. You may need your ex another time, not for intimacy but anything else, so it would be fair that you be nice to them. Do not make it hard for them to cope with the break up.
Make it fast
It is likely that once you drop the bomb, your ex would want to have some reasons. Never stay behind to give explanations. You may need to leave almost immediately after breaking the news to avoid any trouble. After all, you aren’t a psychologist and even if it is your profession, your ex is not the best client.

Face the situation as a grown up
You need to have some respect after breaking up with your ex. Face your ex and tell them at the face like it is. Never send emails or SMS about break ups.
Get all that belongs to you
It is not good that you ask to break up and then appear a week later to collect your stuff. It is good that when you decide to call it quits, you go with all your belongings, never to come back.
Break up and let it be
Be sure to convey the right message. Never give your ex an impression that things would work out later when breaking up. If possible, avoid your ex for the first month because this is a period long enough to help both of you move on and heal.

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What Not To Do After A Break Up

 

There are a couple of significant mistakes that a lot of newly-single people make after a break up that prolong their pain and suffering. Follow these break up rules to assist you to find peace with the end of your relationship and avoid what not to do after a break up.

BREAK UP RULES

1. After a Break Up Don't: Remain 'Just Friends'

Accepting that your relationship is over is the very first step after a break up, and without this realization you'll be hard pressed to move on. Now is the time for renewal, not hopes for reconciliation. Sure, there may be a slight chance the two of you will get back together, but even the most astute 'get your ex back' manuals start with this first simple step: take a break.

Give yourself some time to mourn your loss. Get to know yourself as a single person. Toe your lines of independence and find out what makes you happy again. Staying friends with your ex will only prolong the pain. Think of any interaction with your ex like an addiction -- every single time you succumb, it'll be that much harder to refuse later.

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2. After a Break Up Don't: Deny Negative Emotions That Surface

There is no doubt that you will feel strong emotions after a break up, such as loneliness, anger, fear, shame, uncertainty, humiliation, sadness, despair and jealousy. For many, these feelings will also surface physically, like crying or feeling like your heart is breaking.

Not only are these 'negative' emotions healthy, but they are important to feel in order to remain healthy. Sure, they seem miserable and probably don't make you feel better in the moment, but allowing yourself time to grieve is an important part of healing after a breakup. Plus, a scientific study undertaken in 1980 by Margaret Crepeau found that frequent criers are healthier people. So don't be afraid to comfort yourself via expressing your negative emotions.

3. After a Break Up Don't: Self-Medicate

If there were issues related to addictions, abuse, mental health (i.e. depression), or self-mutilation prior to your break up, please seek out professional help to assist with your specialized needs. (See: How Do I Find a Therapist?) The same goes for those finding themselves using drugs, alcohol, sex, cutting, or any other harmful self-medicating behaviors to cope with the pain after a break up. And if you feel the need to hurt yourself or someone else, please call a crisis hotline immediately.

4. After a Break Up Don't: Stop Taking Care of Yourself

Most people's basic needs are the same: food, sleep and protection from the elements (i.e. shelter and food). During a particularly difficult break up, some people aren't able to manage even these simple tasks -- which is understandable, although not acceptable.

If you cannot be your own best friend right now, ask for help. Talk to your friends, family, a counselor and/or loved ones and let them know you may need a bit of extra support in the next little while. Additionally, create a break up action plan to post in key places, such as on your fridge or hidden away in your desk at work. That way you'll have no only have people checking out for you, but you'll also have created a foolproof list of things that make you happy to refer to.

5. After a Break Up Don't: Keep Remnants of the Relationship Lying Around

There are quite a few things considered 'remnants' of a relationship, including photos, cutesy trinkets, mementos, clothing, and even food. After a break up, especially if the two of you have children together, it can be challenging to remove all of these items from your home. Luckily that's not what I am asking you to do. Instead, fill a box with whatever items you feel will be necessary at some point in time in the future but still remind you strongly of your ex, and then put that box in a private, out-of-the way place for the time being. There will be more than enough reminders on a day-to-day basis of your ex's just because of how the human mind works. You won't need any extra help to add fuel to the break up fire.

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Deal With Jealousy

 

We can all experience jealously at some point in our lives. The following article provides tips on how to manage and turn your jealous feelings into positive actions

Gaining self-confidence:

A lack of self-esteem might bring in a lot of jealous feelings within oneself. When one does not have very high opinion about self and is not sure about one’s own capability, that is when jealousy gets a chance to raise its head. Due to the feeling of inadequacy, one starts to harbor an unhealthy kind of dependency towards another which in case of a romantic relationship, is the partner.

When the partner is unable to handle this kind of needy dependence, then the feelings of mistrust arise. It is essential for the health of a relationship to develop self-confidence and reliance on one’s self. Making a few positive attitude changes will bring in a new self-confidence and will tackle any kind of insecurities also. Only when both partners have an independent life of their own, petty issues and concerns can be avoided.

Individual Goals and Self-Reliance:

Sometimes jealous feelings stem out of a feeling of inadequacy on one’s own abilities. Because of this feeling we tend to rely too much on others for fulfilling our own inadequacies and when our demands and feelings are not met, we tend to wallow in envy. It is very important for us to gain individual existence and we are self-dependent.

A partner’s company or praise should not become a need; rather it should remain a want and a desire. When we have our own goals in life to fulfill and have the self-confidence in our self to sail through life, jealousy becomes a non-issue.

Understanding Your Feelings:

The first and foremost thing to do when you are in the clutches of jealous thoughts is to examine where it arose from. Usually in a romantic relationship, you tend to get jealous if your partner is devoting too much attention towards someone else, but not necessarily someone from the opposite sex. Sometimes one might feel jealous of the attention your spouse is displaying on parents, friends, siblings and even colleagues.

You will need to identify exactly what has triggered the feelings within you which will then help you deal with jealousy in a better way. If the feeling has stemmed out of a baseless factor, you will need to self-examine and self-cure before it gets any worse. If the jealousy is based on something that you feel your partner has done, it needs to be dealt with by both of you through calm and sensible discussion

 

Building Trust:

Communication is very important for a relationship to become secure and the lack of it can bring in a lot of mistrust and suspicions. A couple needs to be clear about each other’s feelings, especially about issues which are a concern for either one of them. Laying down the cards on the table about one’s likes and dislikes will nip any kind of jealous feelings in the bud.

If you have any kind of distrustful emotions due to the actions of your partner, don’t keep your feelings bottled inside. Instead voice out your thoughts to your partner and let him/her assuage your doubts. Unless and until there is a base to your feeling of mistrust, there is no point of letting things get out of hand. But if there is real cause for concern, you will need to deal with the issue, instead of wallowing in feelings of envy.

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Besides, in many cases a compulsive possessiveness and jealousy might be the reason why your partner is not open about certain things in his/her life. It is therefore very important to keep the lines of communication open and give each other the benefit of the doubt instead of raising suspicion all the time.

Dealing with Threat:

When a person is very much obsessed with another, he/she sees everything as a threat to their relationship. Any kind of attention that is meted out to another will be taken as a sign of affection and love and, this in turn will bring fear in the mind of the partner, which will trigger jealousy. It is essential for a relationship to be secure and sound and this lies in the hand of the couple who is making the relationship in the first place.

If jealousy is not handled and taken care of in the initial stages, it can lead to a myriad of problems at a later stage. Apart from harming the relationship, it will inflict a lot of emotional damage on the individual self as well. A relationship which is shrouded in jealous and envious thoughts is like a pillar which is infested with moths. If left untreated it is going to collapse soon.

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Did She Reject You? Get Effective Tactics Which Will Make Her Feel Rejected

 

Why did she reject me? If you are boggling your self, your household or your friends with this question, then you definitely haven’t gotten over that rejection. Obtaining a huge, flat “NO” through the girl that you have already been fantasizing about is difficult to simply accept particularly should you know that you are way better than most guys. Nonetheless, becoming the greater guy isn’t the one gauge in case you will probably be accepted or not. Actually, even the largest fishes within the pond are not exempted from rejection.

Did you analyze why your first potential girlfriend reject you? Well there are some common mistakes that men make with women and do not realize them. I will tell you how to deal with women and avoid those mistakes to have the best woman in your arms.

When a girl rejects a guy, he may start pleading with her, or chase her and try to convince her that he is the best man she can ever have. but who are you to decide if you are the best? Accept the fact that convincing her that you really love her and will keep her happy will not make her feel attracted towards you. By telling her a few nice words, she will not start feeling what she hasn’t felt for you till date. So don’t waste time in chasing her, it will make her run away from you.

It is a proven fact that women like men who do not treat them well initially or say who do not give them much attention. Ever wondered why a girl pays less attention to you when you keep calling her, meeting her, listening to her or doing whatever she says? Now do the opposite and see how she comes to you running.

You don’t have to be very nice with girls because they do not accept or reject guys on the basis of how nice they are. If you have noticed, attractive girls seem to like jerks who are not that good looking instead of good, nice guys. They will like any guy for whom they feel some level of attraction, even if he is not a handsome hunk. It is a natural feeling in girls that makes them attracted to guys. So being nice to girls will not solve your purpose, she will not start feeling attracted towards you.

Many guys try to make their girls happy by seeking their approval in every small deal or work. Initially your girl may like this because it will make her feel important. Later on she will start feeling that you

lack self-confidence and you need permission and approvals to begin any task or finish up a small thing.

Here you will get negative points. As I said earlier also, girls do not like guys being very nice with them. You don’t have to treat her badly but you also don’t need to be extra nice with her. Be a man and do whatever you want to do without asking her. This also means that if you want to kiss her, just go ahead. Don’t wait for her to nod her head to say ‘yes you may kiss me.’

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The most common mistake almost all men do are buying gifts and flowers for a girl. When you do this again and again, girls get a signal: “It’s not easy for me to impress you. So let me try by bribing you a little. May be you will start liking me.” Okay girls love getting flowers and gifts but this will not change how she feels for you. Imagine yourself getting gifts and flowers from a girl whom you can’t even stand.

Would you accept her offer of dating her just because she brings nice gifts and flowers for you? So if you can’t do this, how do you expect girls to change their feelings in exchange for gifts and flowers? You need to show the girl that if she wants to accept you, she must accept you the way you are and you are not going to change your ways for her. This attitude will make her like you and meet you again and again.

Look into the mirror and tell yourself – “I will make girls run after me. I have the attitude to do so.” When you say this to yourself, also follow it by keeping it in mind all the time. Why I am saying this

because when men see attractive women, they can’t control themselves.

When you meet an attractive woman and start dating her, you must realize that before you, she must have dated other men also. She is so beautiful that men must be writing her letters, mails, text messages, expressing their love for her. And this is the biggest mistake men make when they express their feelings too early to a woman. This puts her off and she drops the idea of a relationship with such a man. So remember to give her compliments but

do not say how you feel for her too early in a relationship. Make her fall for you and then express your feelings for her.

Desperation is never attractive to women. She may be hot, easily approachable but if you show your desperation to get in bed with her, she will reject you instantly. Also when you are talking to her, remember not to look at her cleavage or breast. Look into her eyes to make her feel that you like her.

There are men who before even approaching a woman get nervous because of their looks and money power. Well I must clear this point that women do not think like men. They do not get attracted to men by just looking at them. If you need to impress her, you need to talk to her. If she likes your company, your sense of humour, she may well give you a chance to be her partner. Few women do give importance to looks but it still remains secondary to the overall personality of a man.

Never let a woman decide what you want to do, where you want to go or what should be the next step.

Women always want men to show their manliness when taking important decisions. A nice woman would always want to feel safe and protected when with her man. In such a situation if you ask her

what you must do next, how is she going to rely on you for her safety, security, happiness and future endeavors?

Last but not the least, men must know how to behave in different situations. This is very important. If you keep guessing before her about your next move, she is going to get disappointed.

Women almost always know what is on your mind. Your body language says it all. So you must not try to hide your feelings. If you feel like kissing her, she will know it and then if you don’t kiss her, she will find you weird.

So act accordingly in different situations. And please do not act like college guys by conveying messages to her through her friends or your friends. Be bold enough to speak to her either face to face or over the phone.

Hope you do not get rejected by a girl next time. These tips will surely help you in being with a girl for a long long time. All the Best!

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Top Tips for Deal With a Broken Heart

 

It’s at time hard to come up with the best way to deal with a break up especially when you are still feeling raw. Rejection is painful and leads to frustrations, anger and a lot of anguish.

You need to know how to deal with these emotions within the first weeks after a break up. This ensures that you remain with your respect and dignity as you recover from the pain. This is good because life must go on and you can find another person to love when the pain is over.

Top Tips :

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1) Rest in the following weeks after the break up, you should only do what you feel is necessary. Don’t strain yourself because you are already mentally and emotionally strained. Give yourself time to recover from the loss and also mourn. During such a time, you will feel lonely, sad and hopeless. It’s normal.

2) Eat a healthy diet, get enough rest and do not quit your job or classes. You will feel tempted to sleep all day, but you must work to achieve your goals in life. Take good care of your personal appearance and know that you still have a life to live. This ensures that when the pain subsides, you still have your life in control and you can move on properly.

3) You should not forget that you can still live even without your partner. Try to remember things that you can do on your own and also your strengths. You can write some positive points about yourself on a piece of paper. This can be a good strategy to learn on how to get over a break up and a good reason keep yourself aware that you are still lovable.

4) You should avoid seeing your ex as much you can in order to rebuild sense of identity. This may not be easy, but it is possible. This has been recommended by many experts on how to deal with a break up. Separation will allow the two of you to think if you need to get together or part ways forever.

5) You need a friend or a relative to talk to when you are very lonely. This will help you stop thinking about ways to revenge against your ex. Doing some things will only land you in more trouble which will make your life even more sad. Avoid acting on crazy thoughts and talk to someone to calm down.

When you try to figure out how to deal with a break up, remember that you need enough time before moving on. Do things that you have always enjoyed doing before the break up and do not get into another relationship to forget your ex. This can put you into more problems.

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The Secret to Finding Your Ideal Mate and Be Happy in Love

 

One of the conundrums of midlife dating is finding the balance between too picky and just choice enough. We know that all relationships require give-and-take, but we're not sure where to draw the line on giving.

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For the hopelessly single, finding the ideal mate seems like a daunting, impossible task. However, the truth about finding an ideal mate is actually very simple – it's simply that many people just don't know where to look or how to begin. If you're keen to get out of singledom and into a loving relationship, this article's geared at helping you work out how to get started on your search.

Imagine what it would be like to experience the following:

• Finding someone you totally “click” with who loves and appreciates you exactly as you are
• Enjoying incredible sharing, mutual support, and deep intimacy
• Having the most fun you’ve ever had; being able to play with abandon
• Having complete trust in one another, knowing that your partner is always there for you
• Healing the wounds from your past in a loving and supportive relationship

Here some tips for find the ideal mate :

1. Figure out your own mind first. The first step to finding your ideal mate is a paper and a pen. No, you're not going to write a personal ad. What you are going to do is list your traits and the traits you desire in a mate. Included in this list should be: your personality traits and those of a desired mate, your physical traits, and the desired physical traits your mate will have, as well as interests and hobbies, religion and beliefs (both yours and if your mate must be the same religion or hold a similar belief system or lack thereof), desire for children and your willingness to accept another's children, your communication style, etc. You may want to draw on the help of your friends for the personality portion, as well as your past relationships. If you take a look over this, it'll be easier for you to recognize what personality types you got along with the best.

2. Be aware of what other people tend to look for in a mate. Since there are numerous studies on what men and women look for in a mate, make use of them so that you can understand what others are looking for. This can allow you to emphasize your strengths in whichever area, to signal clearly that you've got the interesting traits, beliefs, or do the activities that your potential mate is looking for. Some of the most popular things men and women look for in one another are: 

• Women are looking for (in order): Personality, sense of humor, common interests, intelligence, cleanliness, looks, sexiness, getting to know the man through a friend, voice, spirituality, profession, money, talent, and finally, religion.
• Men are looking for: Personality, sense of humor, intelligence, common interests, looks, cleanliness, sexiness, voice, talent, spirituality, money, religion, getting to know the woman through a friend, and finally, profession

3. Turn the list into a profile of what kind of mate you're looking for. This is a skeleton of a person. It should not be a list of demands, but rather a basic outline of the soul you're looking for. The list needs to be realistic and prioritized. 

4. Love yourself and your body. This is hot tip of the century; your ideal mate is going to be the person that loves you as you are and sees that you do too. If you cannot come to terms with this reality, then some confidence-building is in order and the mentality of wanting to fall in line with whatever your date says has to go out the window. Things to bear in mind to help you on your quest for the ideal mate include:

• You're worth it. Yes, you really are. And prove it by walking tall, with your head held high, smiling and feeling confident. That's attractive and it's going to let potential mates see that you're approachable as well as self-confident.
• List all the things that are great about yourself – why you make a great friend, what your top 10 accomplishments are, what you're proud of in life, and why you're a great catch.^[3]
• Dress to look good, not to fit the fashion, the label, or worst of all, the size on the tag. Whether you're male or female, good dressing that makes the most of your assets is always attractive and sets you apart from other people.
• Be comfortable with your body. It's much more attractive than constantly sending out signals that you're paranoid about your butt size or your wimpy arms.

5. Start looking. Find social groups and events where your mate might spend time, and where there are likely to be plenty of conversations with each of the people involved. It's very important that you put yourself where you're likely to find your ideal mate instead of hoping that that person is the next one to sit down on the bar stool beside yours. The best places to look for your ideal mate are at places where you enjoy spending time, as it's likely that this first shared interest will get things started. Places to spend time looking for your ideal mate include: 

• Singles groups. These could be groups in local churches, dating services, or online. They're the most obvious source because everyone has outwardly declared that they're searching for someone, and while they have their pitfalls, the good thing is that everyone is there for the same purpose. You may find that your perfect mate on the hiking trip is married, or that there are no potential spouses in the auto detailing club, whereas singles groups are guaranteed singleness at least!
• Hobby and sports clubs. You will need to know the relationship status of others in these environs of course but if you're participating in something you're enjoying doing anyway, what's the rush? You've plenty of chances to find out about the other people there and work out who is free and of interest to you, all while pursuing a hobby, sport, or other interest. The fact of the shared interest will likely increase your chances of compatibility.
• The workplace. You'll know very early on in a workplace who is single and who is not. The downside is the continued proximity and the wagging tongues; it can also be harder down the track if you're both in the same workplace, married, and going for the same promotion but that's something to contend with later on. A shared career path can actually be really beneficial for some couples and does mean that you're ideal mates.
• On vacation. This is a great time to find people who are in their relaxed mode. The downside is that they might live and/or work nowhere near you, and they might just be in it for a "holiday fling". Do some question asking before falling for someone on vacation.

6. Do some reality checking as you get to know your date better. As the relationship evolves and you're becoming closer, how do you know that this person is "the one"? Love can leave you giddy and can lead you to overlook the "little things" that can actually be rather big things once you try spending your life together. Things to find out before you're ready to declare this person your "ideal mate" 

7. Make sure you tell someone that you're looking for a long-term relationship from the onset. The worst thing you could do to yourself is fall in love with someone who hits the road three months later because they're not ready to settle down. You should tell someone you are looking for a relationship after the first few dates (it's a bit desperate to discuss this on the first date!), or as soon as you know you're interested in this person. Don't be in a rush to commit; just make sure you're both on the same page. Let them know that's all you're doing. And bear in mind that you need to use your common sense when sounding out commitment issues; after all, nobody wants to discuss marriage on the second date!

 

8. Don't rush things and give the relationship plenty of time to unfold. When you find someone who seems to fit the profile, take a deep breath and go slowly! Spend a lot of time talking, listening, and seeing different aspects of this person you care about. Of course, you want there to be attraction, but you want to get to know this person as well. And you want to see how you interact in a range of situations, such as at leisure, during stressful periods, being around family, and in professional situations.

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Eight Reason for Never Give Up!

1- As Long As You Are Alive Anything Is Possible

The only valid excuse you have to give up is if you are dead. As long as you are alive (and healthy and free) you have the choice to keep trying until you finally succeed.

2. All could change for the better at any time

Sure, right now it stinks. But it could all alter in a blink of an eye. If you keep striving and searching at some point a breakthrough will occur. That could be today, tomorrow or in the next hour. You don’t know but why walk away when the turn of the tide could come at any moment?

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3. Tomorrow is another day

Today hurts. Today your emotions are all over the place. You are lost and feeling beaten. Who hasn’t at some point? But that’s only today. Tomorrow hasn’t happened yet. Take a look at tomorrow’s date. It’s never existed before. It’s a brand new day. And with it can come brand new answers and information and the tide turns. The past has always given way to the future and tomorrow yours could be very bright. 

4. You Are Strong
You are stronger than you think. One little setback is not enough to stop you from achieving your goals. Neither are 10 or 100 or 1000 setbacks.

5. Be Realistic
The chance of mastering something the first time you do it is almost non-existent. Everything takes time to learn and you will make mistakes. Learn from them.

6. Your Family and Friends.
Let the people you love and who mean the world to you be your inspiration to persist and persevere. Maybe you need to try a different angle, study more or practice more but don’t give up!

7.  It could be a wake up call

Not all problems are hassles without a meaning. Some are caused by ourselves. Whilst we want the quickest doorway out of darker periods they make actually point to how we have been long damaging or sabotaging our own life. Continued nightmare scenarios are a sign that we need to take a good hard look at what we may be doing. They are the effects but we are the cause. If darkness persists maybe it’s time to shed light on the real source?

Some wake up calls start with an alarm first.

8. Prove Yourself
You don’t want to be known as someone that is weak and gives up. Go out there and prove yourself to the world and to yourself. You CAN and WILL achieve what you set out to do. The only time you fail is when you give up.

As I write this the sun is shining. On my smiling face. I made it and so can you. Don’t give up PLEASE because you have every reason not to. And the main one is you. You will shine and good times will come again. Back then I was promised that one day I would cry tears of happiness. Today writing this post the promise was kept. I promise you one day you will do the same.

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Plan a Scenic Road Trip for Weekend

What better way to spend a weekend then by getting away from everything and journeying on a scenic road trip with a friend or loved one. Pick a few places to visit, stay at a bed and breakfast, hike and enjoy the hidden spots of nature. Whether it is a romantic getaway or an exciting, fun adventure, a scenic road trip can be an excellent way to relax and unwind.

Instructions :

1. Make your road-trip plan. Select the roads and highways you will take. Select the sites you want to see. Maybe you will want to stop by a national park with hiking trails, a back-road local winery, a scenic overlook or maybe a small town in the middle of nowhere with fun places to eat or shop. Plan out the details of your trip.

Also, calculate how much gas you will use, costs of accommodations, food, entry fees to parks, and other things you are likely to spend your money on during the trip. Split up the fees with your friends taking the trip with you. Prepare a packing list of things to bring. Try to book any accommodations in advance.

2. Get your vehicle checked out. A fresh oil change and a tire service are greatly encouraged. Make sure your vehicle is in good working order before departing. It would not be good to break down on a desolate country road with the nearest town miles away. Prepare your vehicle for the road. Find the cheapest gas in your area and fill up your tank. A good tank of gas should last you a couple of days. It's always best to fill up before departing.

3. Buy food and pack all necessary items for the trip. In addition to food, bring extra cash for souvenirs and meals along the way. Establish a meeting time and place to begin the trip.

4. Create a road-trip binder or folder. You can use it to hold all of your accommodation reservations, parks and attractions information, maps and any other information you might need on your trip.

5. Start your journey. Be sure to designate someone as navigator to follow maps and lead you from each destination to the next.

Things You'll Need:

* Vehicle

* Maps

* List of destinations

* Camera

* Cash

* Itinerary

* Cellular phone (for emergency calls)

* Camping gear (if camping)

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20 Sexy Wedding Night Secrets

It's your first night as husband and wife. Make it unforgettable with these simple, loving ways to get intimate. 

The best part of your wedding just may happen after the guests go home and you slip out of your fancy clothes. After all, it's your wedding night and the two of you want to be alone together. You want to make it special, but you don't want to burden it with too-high expectations.

"Today, there seems to be more pressure to make this night amazing and to do something that's ‘wow'—perhaps because many people live together before getting married," says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., a sex and relationship therapist in Los Angeles and the author of 12 Steps to Everlasting Love (Peters Publishing). "But you don't have to make a big production for it to be a wonderful time. There are a lot of little things that couples can do." Here, some simple ways to make your wedding night memorable.

1) Flirt with each other during the wedding. Sure, you're busy attending to guests, but take the time to meet each other's gaze, touch each other's arm or hand and steal some kisses. These little things keep you focused on each other, and build anticipation as the wedding night approaches.

2) Fill your room with fragrance. "Scents are carried to your brain's emotional center, where they can stimulate memories, emotions and moods. They soothe, relax, energize or arouse," explains Hilda Hutcherson, M.D., codirector of the New York Center for Women's Sexual Health at Columbia University Medical Center and the author of Pleasure: A Woman's Guide to Getting the Sex You Want, Need and Desire (Putnam). If you're staying in a hotel room, arrange to have a bouquet of flowers put by the bed, as well as scented candles. You can also sprinkle a few drops of essential oil on your sheets. Try ylang-ylang, sandalwood, lavender or jasmine—scents that are said to increase arousal and sexual desire.

3) Let him carry you across the threshold. You're guaranteed to be swept off your feet! This romantic tradition, which dates from Roman times, when it was said to ensure good luck for the couple, is fun for both partners. Go from there to giving each other foot massages (you've been standing all day), and progress as slowly—or as quickly—as you like to a sensual full-body massage.

4) Set the night to music. Load the CD player with your spouse's favorite tunes, and put it on when you enter your hotel room. "Or have a CD of your first dance playing softly in the background as you enter the honeymoon suite," suggests Janet Dunnington, owner of CEO Weddings & Events, an event-planning and production company in Manchester, Vermont.

5) Slip into something sexy. Soft, silky lingerie may not be the newest idea, but it's always fun. Plus, the array of items out there (available at every price point) makes it easy to find something flattering that your guy hasn't seen before. "Don't worry if you don't look like a Victoria's Secret model," says Dr. Hutcherson. "Believe me, he's far more focused on how sexy you are than he is on the size of your thighs."

6) Make a love list. "Record a DVD of yourself telling your husband all the things you love about him—he can make one for you, too," says Cadell. Start by letting your partner know that you can't wait to spend the rest of your life as a twosome, and then list the physical, mental and emotional things about him that you love. These can be everything from his charmingly crooked smile to his wry sense of humor.

7) Feed each other. "It's a great way to get intimate before you get intimate," says Dr. Hutcherson. Put a bowl of strawberries, melon balls, chocolate truffles or other succulent snack by the bed to nibble on.

8) Use aphrodisiacs. "Many people swear by the effects of certain foods, but there are some that really can boost your libido," says Dr. Hutcherson. Chocolate contains caffeine and a feel-good chemical called phenylethylamine, both of which may put you in the mood for sex. Also try honey, which contains boron, or oysters, which contain zinc. Those minerals may increase the production of testosterone, the hormone responsible for sexual desire.

9) Play "Find the Honey." For this game, blindfold your partner, put a dab of honey (or another sweet sauce, like chocolate or caramel) somewhere on your body and then have him find it (giving a few hints is a fun part of the game). "It's cute, fun, erotic and playful," says Cadell. Remember to take turns!

10) Get his-and-hers massages. Arrange to get massages in your hotel room right after the wedding. This will help work out any stressful kinks in your bodies, ease tired-from-dancing feet, and get you both in a very relaxed and cozy state of mind.

11) Re-create the first time. "Many women tell me that the first time they had sex with their partner was the most exciting," says Dr. Hutcherson. "If your wedding night isn't the first time, think back to it and try to relive some part of it." For example, you can listen to the same CD you played back then, wear the same perfume or write down what it was about that first time that was so exciting, and read it out loud.

12) Change the lighting. Surprise your partner by replacing an everyday lightbulb with a red or blue one. "This creates a soft, romantic glow," says Dr. Hutcherson. Or, have a bridesmaid, the hotel concierge or your wedding planner fill the room with rows and rows of candles and light them just before you arrive.

13) Leave something sexy on the bed. Buy your groom some silky boxers or pj's, and lay them out so they're waiting for him. Or guys can buy the bride some fancy lingerie. Either way, this sets a fun, sexy tone.

14) Indulge in playthings. "Before your wedding night, decide that each of you will buy a sex toy that you want your partner to use on you," says Dr. Hutcherson. "This way you both feel comfortable with the idea, and you can have fun trying them out."

15) Bliss out in the tub. Prepare beforehand for a romantic bath. Think rose petals, massage oils and candles, as well as sponges or loofahs to wash each other with. Just turn the water on and enjoy.

16) Relax! Realize the pressure is off. Take the time to talk about your amazing day. Get romantic; make out the way you did when you first met. All of this will make the sex more intimate and thrilling.

17) Have a treasure hunt. Hide sweet (and sexy) items around the room and give him a list of clues, suggests Tasha Bracken, principal design coordinator of Simple Details, an event-planning company. For example, hide chocolates, a bottle of champagne, a CD of your favorite songs, and so on. The final "find" can be you—soaking in the tub or cuddled beneath the covers.

18) Stroll down memory lane. Decorate the room with playful, romantic pictures of the two of you, says Bracken. (Think funny or poignant!) You can also burn a DVD with a slide show of these special photos set to music, and arrange to have it playing when you get back to the room.

19) Paint a rosy future. Cadell suggests writing down some private vows. One example: "To love each other. To help each other. To believe in each other." Another is: "We are committed to providing understanding and forgiveness. To creating a partnership that can grow mentally, physically, sexually and spiritually."

20) Do not disturb. The most important tip for making your wedding night sexy and romantic? "Don't invite friends and family back to your room after the reception," says Bracken. Need we say more?

 

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Knowing if Someone Is Lying

To quote Christopher Walken a la "True Romance" regarding lies, "a guy's got 17 pantomimes; a girl's got 20." There are often cues and signs that someone may be lying. But before you whack them, remember there may also be understandable reasons for the lie.

Instructions

1. Look for body language that might indicate someone is lying, such as not looking you in the eye when speaking to you, being fidgety, or acting nervous or uncomfortable.

2. Listen for inconsistencies in what the person tells you, such as different stories on different days, different time frames, mistakes in remembering details or mixing up details.

3. Notice if the person steadfastly resists answering any questions. Extreme defensiveness could mean that he or she is trying to hide something.

4. Notice if the person accuses you of lying or being deceitful when you really haven't been. This could reflect the other person's own underlying behavior, which he or she is projecting onto you rather than owning up to it.

5. Listen to your gut and intuition. You may just know someone is lying. If you are not sure, don't jump to conclusions. Try to get some evidence to back up your hunch.

6. Consider asking directly if the person has lied to you. Many people feel bad getting caught up in lies, and find it a relief to finally be honest.

7. Try to be understanding and listen to the person's reasons for lying. Was he trying not to hurt you? Was she afraid you would be angry, upset or disappointed?

8. Look at your possible role in having someone lie to you. Are you someone who gets so upset hearing the truth that others feel they can't be honest with you?

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Top Eight Ideas for Plan a Romantic Valentine's Day Date

This post is aimed at assisting you with how to set about making a romantic date for the one you love. It is especially appropriate for the less romantically inclined who just can't think of these ideas without prompting!

Steps :

1. Make a list of what you will need before you begin. For example, roses, chocolates, candles, stuffed animals (plushies), food, and romantic music.
2. Select something for dinner that you know you'll both like, so you can enjoy the meal together. If you haven't time to cook, order ahead at a good food store that specializes in take-home dinners (not just fast food). Order a special cake from a bakery (pâtisserie) and get some special wine or alcohol substitute that both of you love to share.
3. Shop for the roses, candles and stuffed animal(s). Choose them in pink, red, or white; or try a combination of all three colors if you like. Include a card in which you can write a personal, heartfelt message. Make the card yourself if you have the time, for that extra personal touch.
4. Arrange the roses, candles and stuffed animals in strategic places in your home. Make them appear in unexpected places to delight your loved one. Leave a sweet post-it note message stuck behind the bathroom door, next to the soap dispenser or on the coat rack. It's also a nice touch to scatter some rose petals around your home, perhaps on a staircase or on the welcome mat at the front door. Write a love note in the steam on the bathroom mirror so they see it when they get out the shower.
5. Start cooking your specially planned meal (if you're doing it) or put the purchased quality meals into warming-up containers ready to heat. Make sure that you have something sweet and romantic to finish the meal with.
6. Think of some heartfelt ways of presenting the food - arrange the salad in the shape of a heart; use a heart-shaped cookie cutter to cut out bread pieces, pour a berry coulis for a cake in a heart shape.
7. Set the table with your favorite things, a candle, some flowers and put on softly playing music in the background. Leave a sweet message in the place that your loved one will be sitting.
8. After the meal is over, have chocolates and out-of-the-ordinary warm drinks planned ( for example, hot chocolate with a dash of liqueur or fruit syrup; latte coffee etc). Dim the lights and tell your loved one all the reasons why they are so special to you. Go beyond ordinary and think deeply about why this person really matters to you - stretch that word "love" into something with real meaning.

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11 Ways To Make Valentine's Day Special on a Budget

Love with diamonds and a five star meal is neither a necessity nor necessarily a meaningful expression of love for Valentine's Day. Having the means to pay for expensive gifts and experiences does not relieve the giver from expressing love personally, nor does it relieve the recipient from returning such love personally.

If you're worried that your funds can't stretch far enough to give your beloved a Valentine's Day to remember, realize that the best experience on Valentine's Day is having your partner come away from it with the absolute knowledge that they're loved, cared about, and wanted. Save your money and still have a great Valentine's Day.

Steps

1. Avoid equating love with consumption. It's easy to get bogged down in the buying frenzy surrounding Valentine's Day, as retailers vie to rake in some decent profits from romance-inspired lovers. Love isn't about what you give in goods though; it's about what you give by way of time, attention, and acknowledgment of the other person. And none of those can be purchased. Once you view Valentine's Day from the perspective of it being about acknowledging and celebrating your love by spending time together, it's easier to realize that a budget Valentine is still a perfect date opportunity.

2. Minimize rather than do without. One of the tricks to saving money on Valentine's Day is to still indulge in some of the traditional Valentine's accessories but to reduce them. For example, instead giving her a dozen red roses, give her one, held in your teeth, and accompanied by your best impression of a Spanish dancer. Or, give him a special brand of chocolate bar instead of a whole box of expensive chocolates. In this way, you can still participate in the essence of Valentine's Day but spend very little.

 

3. Make your own. A homemade card is always more meaningful than a purchased one. It says not only what you write in it but also "I took the time to make this because I care enough about you to give that time." As far as mementos go, it's likely the card will be kept for many years to come! Other things can be made too, for gifts. Draw on your own skills when making gifts; for example, if you're a keen gardener, give something from the garden; if you're a keen cook, make something delectable; if you're a keen outdoor enthusiast, give a fully guided nature walk or a lesson in your favorite sport.

 

4. Think of something you can do for your love. An excellent way to show your love can be through making love coupons or vouchers. These can contain promises that range from the mundane to the downright sexy, all depending on your willingness to do things for your love. Make a large heart from construction paper, attach as many coupons as you're willing to give. Some examples include:

• This voucher is good for one week of dish washing by me, no questions asked.
• This voucher is good for guaranteeing one season of your favorite TV show to be shared with me. And a promise that there will be no channel surfing during said show.
• This voucher is good for one loving foot massage. To be redeemed any time.
• This voucher is good for one massage in a bubble bath. Any time of day or night.
• This voucher is good for a long snog in front of a movie of your choice.
• This voucher is good for the night of your wildest dreams. To be redeemed when you're in the mood.

5. Exchange cheesy but sweet gifts that remind you of one another, for whatever reason. You can either initiate this yourself, or suggest it as a Valentine's tradition for the two of you. The item should be very affordable, and recall some experience that the two of you have had together. Make a nice card that explains the gift but don't be too cheesy in what you write. For example:

• A cheap plastic snow globe with two hearts inside. Write that it reminds you of the night when she fell in the snow, and that when you came to pick her up, you couldn't help noticing how adorable she looked surrounded by snow.
• A plastic surfboard keyring. Write that it reminds you of the month the two of you spent surfing in Bali and how it was there that you realized you wanted to surf the rest of your life with him.
• A brooch featuring a computer and mouse. Write that it is a reminder of how the two of you met online and how you'll never forget the beauty of her first smile by video chat.

6. Give time. Giving time is the ultimate romantic gesture. It will mean a great deal if you're usually stretched for time and you choose to give up the whole day to spend with your beloved, doing things together that have nothing to do with work, raising a family, paying bills, etc. Banish the mundane and just allow the day to be about the two of you together. As part of this, be thoroughly attentive, listen, and take the chance to share dreams and hopes for the future, including renewing dreams that might have been taken for granted over time.

• If you can, find babysitters for the kids so that you're truly alone. If not, let the kids know that this is a day for "mom and dad" and get them helping in making it special.

7.  Create a special evening at home together. Make a meal in which you go to extra trouble. It doesn't have to be expensive food; just spend time making it more complicated and interesting than the usual daily meals. Look online for recipe ideas to help you turn ordinary ingredients into something fabulous. If you're going to watch a special DVD together, be sure to make some tasty popcorn to share.

• Spell "I love you" on the plate using food! Use your beloved's favorite food if you can.
• Make a love heart pizza.
• Playing boardgames is another entertaining option for passing the evening in fun rivalry. Or, set up a video or online game that the two of you can get deeply involved in, provided both of you really enjoy such games.

8. Stargaze. Put on warm clothes and step out to check out the night sky. If you have to travel, add picnic rugs, a thermos of warm drink, some snack bars, and a full tank of fuel. Find somewhere on the city outskirts where the sky is clear. Take along a star chart and look for stars that you know. Choose a star just for the two of you and make a promise to look for it every Valentine's Day.

9. Be spontaneous. Do the unexpected and thrill your beloved. Secretly learn a few dance moves and surprise her by taking out to dance. Memorize his favorite poem and recite it after dinner, then present him with a rose you've grown yourself. Make it appear as if the two of you are set to have a movie night in, then suddenly gasp: "Oh my! We mustn't miss ......" And drag her out the door to see the sun set, watch a movie, listen to a visiting band, or whatever else you think is most appropriate.

10. Take a walk down memory lane together. Take your beloved to somewhere they told you was special to them as a child. Spend time walking around it and asking questions about their feelings. Explain that it might not be the same as when your beloved was young but that now your beloved has two memories of the special place – one without you and one with you. Be sure to take a photo of the two of you there! Another way of remembering the past is to dig out old photos and go through them together. Look at photos from both your childhood times and your times together. It's great to have an excuse to enjoy all those photos that get stowed away and forgotten about!

11. Say "I love you". It doesn't cost anything but it says and means a great deal. Don't be shy; say it a lot during the day. Tell your love how you really feel. He or she will appreciate your honesty and it will mean more than any gift could.

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